It’s funny, I thought ORC was the new worst game I’ve ever played. I think RE6 has almost topped that, but for different reasons.

Luckily for Capcom though, RE6 was still better than Racoon City. Why? When you shot things in RE6, they died. They also occasionally turned into exponentially more annoying things…..or did they?

Let’s be frank, the majority of the mutations – like Napad and Streloch and many others – were actually easier to kill than some normal enemies. They acted like all these injury-location-based mutations were supposed to make for a variety of challenges, but it only made for a variety of enemies. And at the lab in Ada’s campaign with all the whoppers, 2 of the 4 of them that I fought got stuck on walls. Was that the point, to make them big and powerful but clunky and stupid so it was hard for them to attack if they didn’t corner you? Like Zangief?

Honestly I would say about 85% of my deaths came from just bad game design – bad game mechanics, bad camera angles, terribly timed camera rotations, ambiguous game-play decisions – like swinging off the side of a train and then hitting a wall which there was no indication you would hit. I think that if i hadn’t died from stupid shit, I might have almost given the game a 4 out of 5. And no, almost all of those deaths weren’t my fault. Like when I died 8 times from a subway train because there literally was no QTE prompt. Or died because Resident Evil isn’t supposed to be Metal Gear Solid. Granted, they did warn you about the bat things, but they never said you had to melee them. Out of the 30 ish hours of game play, there were maybe 10 good hours. Leon chapter 1 and 2, Ada 1 through 5, the last chapter of Jake  and I guess most of Chris’s campaign, as much as that pains me to admit. I had a feeling his would be the only well constructed campaign and I was right, as always.

What the fuck is this shit? This is 100x worse than his RE2 model, is this supposed to be funny? At no point were the RE models that bad, even in RE1.

That is, excluding mercenaries, which is impossible to screw up, though they did screw up the costumes – at least the alt costumes. People don’t like Capcom because they are new and exciting, they go to them because they deliver the same formula every time and manage to make it good – or that used to be the case. For example, the fact that Leon doesn’t get an RPD uniform, and neither does Chris, nor does Ada get any of her old costumes (especially the Assignment Ada uniform) in either mercs or campaign…that’s unacceptable.

And then there’s also that huge gaping asshole where they took all the old story and any sense of logic and threw it out the window. You know like how they went for 13 years and then decided oh, by the way, Wesker was a genetically engineered clone. What about how they waited 16 years and then decided “Oh by the way he had a son even though we never ever ever said he ever had a family or knocked anyone up, and then we’re going to pretend as if that’s the case instead of just another clone.”

That’s not how you write a story. That’s tantamount to continuing the James Bond story at this point and then going “Oh yea his parents are alive, they’re great, he also has a sister and she’s married to a nice investment banker. They spend Christmas together”. You can’t do it that way, that’s not how it works. Not after 16 years. If they wanted to bullshit it and put in a son – in, say, RE3, or Code Veronica, that’s fine. Your franchise should have had a well established set of boundaries before you reached into what, 21 or so games?

So with all that being said, there isn’t much left to review other than the game-play  It’s the same gameplay from RE5 except your partner isn’t utterly useless now, though they still fail to use the appropriate gun for a situation. The added ORC melee is very helpful and a massive innovation over the awful RE1 style knife where you have to ready it and then attack. The rolling on the ground simply makes the controls convoluted now that you can move and shoot. The item and menu interface takes a lot of flak from people – I didn’t find anything wrong with it other than its stupid futuristic look. The targeting laser and reticle pretty much sucks hardcore, so I find fault with every version of the aiming system in 6.

At the end of the game, all four storylines do tie together well and make sense. The worst part is that in order to  understand, or try to understand I should say considering there actually is no point in the game where the plot is ever explained, you have to play Ada’s campaign. You don’t have to play all three campaigns to understand the story, but you do have to play all three campaigns to unlock Ada’s campaign, and in order to attempt to understand the story,  you have to play Ada’s campaign.

I give this game a 5 out of 10.

Fuck you Capcom, you’re fucking terrible.

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