I’ll be up front with you here. This game….it no good.

As I am writing this review two months after playing, I’ll make it short and maybe picture-less  You know what shit looks like anyhow, I’m sure.

Slant Six did a superb job of creating a believable, enjoyable, and creepy atmosphere for Raccoon City, doing justice to the many different iterations of the town. Cars are wrecked everywhere, there’s plenty of blood and everything is on fire, and it’s dark. The Umbrella labs beneath the city, especially, I have to say are the most exquisite part and add depth to the facility that makes it far more believable than anything we ever saw in Outbreak, RE2 or RE Chronicles.

The weapons are all broken and disappointing, save for the knife. The knife and melee options make for a fun revisit to a different developers game: Dead Rising. As far as the guns go, I have literally shot both AI and human players in the head 8 times [and they didn’t die] with this baby:

Sweet death.

It wasn’t just “Oh maybe it glitched.” No, this happens on a reliable basis all the time in story mode and a little bit less in multiplayer. This rifle is used to destroy equipment and disable vehicles. It’s not used on human beings. This would literally gib a human being. Yet a human enemy, be it a soldier or another player, does not instantly die when hit anywhere with it. Thus the problem with putting an anti-material rifle in any game, ever. It’s SUPPOSED TO BE BROKEN. When it isn’t broken, it ruins the game, and so it’s then broken in a different way. In two months they have not patched any problems with the guns.

Zombies will not reliably attack you unless you are bleeding, which is a good game mechanic for multiplayer, but even when you are bleeding they often ignore you. Hunters will literally run up to you, as described by this gentleman on YouTube (in the perfect voice I might add), and troll you:

He’s not joking. A hunter will occasionally run right up to you, be within inches of ruining your life, and then it will suddenly spin around and run away. What the fuck!? That hunter just trolled me! All of the B.O.W.s work on aggro, so, whoever shoots the Tyrants more, that’s who it goes after. Admittedly, the AI functions well enough to make the game stressful and harrowing – the way it should be – but more often than not it’s just a battle of hopefully directing the NPC enemies away from you long enough for someone else to be the victim.

Some of the actives in this game, much more so than the passives, are complete broken horse shit. RPG abilities do not belong in shooters, ever, and this is no exception. Lupo especially – she has an active that grants her invincibility (or is it infinite ammo?) for about 20 seconds straight, with pretty much no cool down. It’s not fun, at all, to be the one unfortunate enough to be trying to kill her. Vector has active camo that won’t reliably fade even after being grenaded. Both Spec Ops teams and USS have the same skills for matching classes, but it seems the majority of the time that the U.S.S has a pre-existing design advantage.

This game does have many good game modes, like G-Virus sample mode, which is essentially capture the G-virus (like CTF). Nemesis is another good mode, though DLC of course – it’s an objective match, King of the Hill essentially, where each team can take control of nemesis and he’ll murder the other team as long as your team controls the Nemesis panel. All of the game modes, minus Heroes, are fun, they are just crippled by broken weapons. Heroes unfortunately pits two teams of “heroes” against each other – heroes being somewhat canon characters who have THOUSANDS of HP and can take anything but a Grenade Launcher shot to the face, repeatedly, and still kill the other team alone if the other team has lost its heroes – even if not, they can still take on four enemy heroes at once for quite a while. I have had matches where we literally corner raped Jill Valentine for minutes straight, hitting her thousands of times with every weapon in the game, and she did not die.

Story is, of course, irrelevant in this game, as it contradicts pretty much every game that is considered canon, and intentionally so. Even knowing that, the story is virtually non-existent and consists only of a non-stop slew of Ramirezery:

 ‘Wolfpack, do everything. Do everything else. Wolfpack, we’re leaving you for dead. Fight us.”

which, without being tied together by an overall plot like a similar action thriller novel would be, is just annoying and tedious.

Art design: 10/10

Single Player Gameplay: 4/10

Multiplayer Gameplay: 6/10

Story: 2 out of 10

Score: 5 /10, or 51%, and that’s being generous by not combining game-play into one category.

Don’t buy this garbage unless you find it for less than $10. This is $60 I’ll never get back.

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